Things that don't exist, but should

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This is essentially my Wishlist of Impossible Wishes. The following things should exist, and don't. The world would be a better place with all these awesome things, and I don't know how we get by without them. Crossed-out things actually do exist, to the best of my knowledge.

IPA Whatnots

  • IPA cookie cutters
  • IPA ice cube trays
  • IPA cereal
  • IPA scrabble
  • IPA magnetic poetry

Publications

  • A complete analysis of Turkic vowel harmony systems
  • A complete analysis of Turkic consonant dissociation
  • A complete diachronic account of every word in every language (where they come from originally—as far back as determinable—grouped by which patterns of change they underwent via which languages, etc etc)
  • A good English-Kazakh dictionary
  • A portable hand-held completely extensible and open-source digital dictionary for lexicography work
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